“Never in my 3 thousand years of existence have I ever been, this disrespected, frustrated or mad! I used to be ‘the man’ around here in Transylvania everybody knows that! Well that was before the terribly evil Monsters came into town and started stealing all the attention and making the headlines with their horrific acts. It took me thousands of years to earn my reputation, which the Black Monsters managed to tarnish and outdo in only 2 days! I’ve become nobody overnight. No one is scared of me any more! All I hear every day in Transylvania is ‘Black Monster did this, Black Monsters did that!’ I can’t stand it anymore! I can’t even sleep at night and I even have terrible nightmares about these Black Monsters attacking me! But do you want to know the worst part? These fuckin’ Monsters are destroying my sacred white virgin pussy! Somebody – anybody – Help Me!!!”